Soldier's Son

His duffle bag is by the door I ask him what they're fighting for. He tapes the dog tags to his chest gives the 38 one last test. The baby's sleeping in the other room he slowly puts his combat boots on. He's got the shades, he's got the hat, he packed the tent, he's got the mat, a picture of us on a sunny day. Was it in April or was it in May? He hands me his last will and reminds me to pay the car payment bill. He already seems so far gone and I don't know what to tell his son: Daddy's fighting for freedom and for peace, Daddy's sending you a kiss? No, I don't know when he'll be back, Daddy sends you a hug-around-your-neck. Remember the games daddy used to play? Remember what daddy used to say: the moon shines for everyone, I'm your Daddy, you're my son. He puts his camouflage jacket on and stands in the kitchen a little forlorn; a soldier in desert uniform, a soldier on his way to Desert Storm. I don't want to think that he could die and surely enough I begin to cry. He looks at me but doesn't say a word it's that silence that really hurts. He left us a long time ago when he first learned that he'd have to go. He wants to be a fighter and a father, too, he whispers you know that I love you. He walks to the door and grabs his gear, with his back to me I can't see his tears. I wanna scream, I wanna shout: Why did you stay in? I begged you to get out. I'll be waiting here for you, baby, you know I love you, too. If you're ever in trouble think about me. I'll give you strength, just wait and see. If you ever feel weak just call my name, my love will be your guiding flame. When you're hurting and hungry and feeling blue remember that we are missing you, too. And when you return things will be alright, I'll hold you in my arms all night. He doesn't turn and then he is gone, all I have left is a soldier's son.