Solace Seeking

The giants swarm with heavy thoughts circling inside my head, dwelling on harsh, unwanted words people have never even said. Hope feels so far from where I am, left me floating in waters I once readily swam. Rummaging through baggage claim, but for some reason my bags don’t look the same Surely the baggage to pass me by can’t all be mine to carry, some I don’t even recognize; some I thought I'd buried. Satan tempts me with his decoy, whispering you’re not worthy of feeling joy These thoughts become days and days become weeks, my heart cannot find the solace it seeks For no lack of effort have I arrived in this place, falling, crawling- vulnerability painting my face. The battle feels tremendous and the will power feels thin, I’m clinging to the hope in Jesus- defeating thoughts won’t win Subconsciously trying to gain control when I feel mine is lacking, this desperate plea for approval leads me to seek my loved ones, attacking. God gives us love and community not just for strength and unity, Rather because the lies we feed ourselves in the fight can no longer thrive in community, truth, and light.