Slipping Into Insanity

What in the world is wrong with me? You don’t know what goes on in my head. My rage makes my eyes burn with hate. I’m wishing the world was as dead as I feel. I’m stuck here at home, left abandoned and alone. Why do I care, that you’re never there? My one escape left me. Why does the world rape me? Why do I have to feel? There’s no easy way out. So I’m left here crying out for the one thing I need. My hands are shaking cold while I try to rub it out of my head. I am slowly drowning, my clowning is a disguise. I’m the only one that knows the true extent to my mental demise. My heart is beating numb while the blood in me boils with rage. Anger with myself. Anger with the heavens. Anger with everything in between. Why must I feel this way? When does it end? So many questions racing in my thoughts. So many fears I’m beginning to realize. So many regrets I can’t forget. I missed the kiss. I miss the bliss. I miss the happiness of feeling whole. What is happening to me? My life’s pages are becoming glued together, smeared with the ink of malcontent. The Devil’s inside my head, I wonder what his intent could be? It just seems like everything is killing me. The simplest of things goes off like a bell, then I find myself stuck in my own mental Hell. A song, a place, the face of an old friend. I wonder how long it’s been since then? The air is still, filled with the freezing chill of self-aggression. A quiet thought. An ease of mind. An inner peace that’s one of a kind. All I want is to be content. To feel happy again. Why won’t it come when I try to let it in?