Sleepwalking through the void of the unknown

I can’t breathe it is killing me. It’s so I can see is this void happening below me I can’t wake up that’s a trap from the void I can’t wake up and start this over. Wake me up and give me a reason to start again. And this isn’t adding up anymore. It’s in my head though it’s breaking up is bringing me to war. I’m divided which one is the better plan for my mental health train slowly leaving the station schizophrenic. Call me, I’m a schizophrenic yeah that bipolar two is getting worse in this world today taking over my toxic ass brain , she called me My only schizo friend cus she’s all in my head we wake up make up everything we do for the day walk around in my head all day everyday and I can’t help change it none of the medication is working anymore I think I went to far into the realm of my brain and truest can’t process the pain which is why my body is numb and I’m agonizing pain nobody can save me from my brain it’s already gone to far on the thinking train I’m sleepwalking but I’m wide awake the medicine got into a fit rage and I think the schizophrenia was from drug use but we never know cus it’s very new school but I did a lot of acid when I was 12 18 and that sh it progressively got worse over the course of doing that everyday not even thinking if my brain okay. No I said imma die anyway hit the tab like it’s ducking bill at the bar today. My brain helps me stay calm cool and collected I’m 23 with thoughts of things I never thought I would see and I’m so innocent and I lost everything but that’s okay cus I got my boyfriend with me or is he real or just in my continuous sleepwalking dream? It’s hard to determine what’s real or fake in today’s society this really is some scary imagine never being able to walk around your house without feeling dread cus the dead roams that house they drain you ask much as you claim to drain them. I stay inside a hotel so you those od’s were daily you know this could be haunted but it’s been diagnosed last week on paper I’m schizo Maybe it’s a ghost or maybe it’s my imagination but it’s hard to walk through a void filled with memories killing you inside slowly and how it’s just darkness you don’t see anything but pitch black I’ve seen the void like 3 times now and that is scary as sleepwalking or not the void has my mind prisoner. I need get out the void I’m to my mom begging for some help help me escape this void this empty sh it I can’t even leave it has me on a leash and I’m screaming please help me!