Sleepless Nights

My intentions are not preventive actions, just decisions made. Only if I had given more thoughts to right and wrong choices that has crossed me. Maybe contemplate a better plan that could have coexisted with both side of my thought process. My independent thinking has corrupted my better judgment. Two faced, and the mask hasn’t changed my feelings about things. Maybe it’s broken like how I feel about my own soul. Torn, and I decided to walk away ending up at a cross road. One of a broken path that I choose seems to be beaten and rough with parts of a pave surface. Left and uncared for. Cracks big enough for flowers to grow. I have enslaved my own mind by guilt. I felt my very heart beating out of my chest, as sleepless nights haunt my body, I’m tired. Laying in bed staring at ceilings trying to decipher this meaning of my feelings and why have I done certain things that in my life I wouldn’t be able to change. Life is a game and my tears cried tears just from being tired. Tired of playing life’s game. No suicide. Just my thoughts caught up in a web of lies I have been fighting with those with lose lips. The spiders crawl from under the closet door abandoning their own post of bones and decomposed material. I want to be free to leave, my feelings won’t let me and still I feel it’s not worth the time to just repair broken things when my heart decided differently. Conflict with my spiritual self, my thoughts cant process and it’s a long sleepless night.