Get Your Premium Membership

Skytrain Girl

The girl Sauntering onto the sky train is cute enough in that plain not trying sorta way She's a sexy disheveled Cucumber cool across her eyes mismatched bangs lay In the middle of the train she stands Tattoos on both her hands I watch her as I sit Eyes emerald green fluorescent light lit She looks kinda shy But only just a little bit A Stephen King book tucked beneath her arm "Full Dark, No Stars" Story takes place on a farm Somehow it adds just a hint of mystery to her charm A bedazzled iPhone held loose in her hand Reminds me of the beach silver stars glued to sand Through her headphones plays a one of a kind band Rock on Rolling Stones You add an edge to her bland She becomes aware I'm looking at her Neither one of us saying a word She just smiles studying my old man face as our thoughts mix and interlace Delayed reaction from me Too subtle for her to trace So she flips me the bird amusing me with a moment absurd So I get up and tip my hat as I exit on 33rd Would she have been so cute If my eyes weren't blurred?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 8/26/2016 9:01:00 AM
..what a charming, delightful tale :-) there is a playfulness to your words that is utterly refreshing while your attention to detail had me smiling and nodding my head (to the 'dinging skytrain bell) :-) This feels as if it was as much fun for you to write as it is to read. I look forward to a companion piece for the seabus..lol blessings, lynn
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/26/2016 9:09:00 AM
Hi Lynn, yes this was a fun one to write. The girl is real however the event never took place, just a flight of imagination. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
Date: 4/12/2016 11:00:00 AM
You've got a great imagination lot's of detail you were in Vancouver no doubt, sky train gives it away. 55's not old only when you look in the mirror that's a good one I relate 55 also. Great write
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/26/2016 9:11:00 AM
It seems I missed a few. Sorry for the long delay on responding. Yes Vancouver it was. Thanks for the visit John.
Date: 3/26/2016 2:49:00 PM
That last line had me laughing hard. Well done. I remember writing something like this back in 2011 about a really cute girl I saw that worked in the supermarket. "A sexy disheveled"...love it.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/26/2016 9:10:00 AM
A much delayed thank you my friend.
Date: 3/22/2016 10:27:00 AM
Richard Your thoughts always leave you with wanting more. A bit humorous and very descriptive as you create this scene in your gifted mind making it so real and fun for the reader.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/22/2016 11:01:00 AM
Thanks Michael, this was a fun one to write.
Date: 3/22/2016 9:51:00 AM
Oh you captured another perfect moment, the hand gesture made me laugh. Are these real people you are encountering? I would love to see your poetry and your photography mixed, you give the world a perspective beyond compare xx
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/22/2016 10:10:00 AM
This is just a flight of imagination Casarah. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
Date: 3/21/2016 11:20:00 AM
A real up-to-date-cool cutie, eh. A Michigan lass smiled at me - me wearing my Michigan State hat - State had just lost in the first round of the big tournament. At least she didn't flip me the bird. Love, Old daver
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/22/2016 10:10:00 AM
Ha ha, at last your cutie was real.
Date: 3/21/2016 2:25:00 AM
Entertainment plus in this delightful piece Richard! #7 ;)
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/22/2016 10:10:00 AM
Thanks Connie.
Date: 3/20/2016 4:34:00 PM
Fantastic poem, Richard. Entertaining from beginning to end! "Rock on Rolling Stones You add an edge to her bland" Love the personality throughout. Great one! Funny ending too. Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/20/2016 4:56:00 PM
Thanks Laura!:0)
Date: 3/19/2016 11:21:00 AM
Dear Richard Excellent read here my friend, enjoyed it alot, cheri dunn
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/20/2016 4:57:00 PM
Thanks Cheryl.
Date: 3/19/2016 10:59:00 AM
It is amazing what our eyes could see through the others... Some characters have that extra special mystery about them, don't they ? ... Loved your detailed descriptions. .Awesome.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/20/2016 4:56:00 PM
Thanks, hugs Rick.
Date: 3/19/2016 3:47:00 AM
Hi Richard! Enjoyed the interaction through your eyes! Good work! Jimbo
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/19/2016 8:21:00 AM
Thanks James.
Date: 3/18/2016 8:32:00 AM
Your imagination knows no bounds. Great way to make people aware of life and how we perceive it. Love Mom
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/18/2016 8:44:00 AM
Thanks mom! Love back to you.
Date: 3/17/2016 11:19:00 AM
Hi Richard: Great Poem and very perceptive. Men begin to see beauty personified more as they age and if they give you the bird they know you noticed them.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/17/2016 4:20:00 PM
Ha ha, women are like an eclipse, you shouldn't stare directly at them.
Date: 3/17/2016 1:33:00 AM
It's good to know what eventually happened....I really liked the Pun intended towards the end...bravooooo !!!!! 100/100///Hugs Red
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/17/2016 4:21:00 PM
Thanks Red, I'm glad you enjoyed my little story. Hugs Rick
Date: 3/16/2016 5:56:00 PM
goodness, i didn;t see that last line changing the track of your wonderful plot, rich... guess she must be pretty...i lovve this; huggs
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 6:00:00 PM
Thanks Nette, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hugs Rick.
Date: 3/16/2016 3:42:00 PM
hahaha, if your eyes were not blurred. I love that ending to this one. Yeah, gettng the bird flipped at you is what you can expect from the young brats of today! Great character study this was, richard.
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 4:48:00 PM
There's lots of nice ones too. Thanks for the visit Andrea.
Date: 3/16/2016 1:54:00 PM
Now that was a fun ride Richard...I see she liked you : )
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 2:12:00 PM
Thanks Tim.
Date: 3/16/2016 12:52:00 PM
You have more class than me. I would have said SOMETHING, about the bird, that is. Great story really enjoyed it even found myself smiling. Great job. Peace my friend:)
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 2:11:00 PM
Thanks Daniel, glad I provided a smile.
Date: 3/16/2016 11:42:00 AM
Plain, pretty and sexy...and slightly flirty. The fact that she's a reader would have got me talking to her; tattoos can be deceiving! The poem is lovely and entertaining. // paul
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 2:12:00 PM
Thanks Paul.
Date: 3/16/2016 10:09:00 AM
This is "cool".. I wouldn't say you were an old man but certainly the way we look at youth is so interesting. I expect if you were her age you would have tried to pick her up..I know, that's an old fashioned phrase...Smiling. BG
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 10:15:00 AM
Probably not, as I prefer a more refined woman myself. I would have been intrigued to know her story though. Thanks for the visit. Hugs Rick.
Date: 3/16/2016 9:50:00 AM
This is one very cool write. Rick you are a storyteller for sure. I was right there with you as if I was watching it happen. Loved it!
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 10:08:00 AM
Thanks Bernard.
Date: 3/16/2016 8:46:00 AM
Rick, this is so amazing, it is like a little clip of life in the old man's life, just wonderful and so well written, and I am liking this 7 ~
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 9:03:00 AM
Thanks Constance. Hugs Rick.
Date: 3/16/2016 8:08:00 AM
Well, she might have been bland but that flying bird said a lot about attitude..LOL..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 8:16:00 AM
My pleasure Sara.
Date: 3/16/2016 5:43:00 AM
- It can be perceived as a quiet charm about her - young and healthy, and at the same time a lot to learn from life - A lovely poem, Richard - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 8:18:00 AM
Thanks and a hug back to you Anne Lise.
Date: 3/16/2016 4:53:00 AM
Hmmmmmm....hmmmmmm.....hmmmmm....what a fascinating write. Yes....I did look up flips me the bird. New expression for me. How dare she!!! Grrrrr...Anyway, the descriptions you used were fantastic. Your writes are amazing. :) Hugs
Login to Reply
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 3/16/2016 8:20:00 AM
This was just a bit of silly fun, I'm pleased you like it. She's a figment of my imagination. Hugs Rick
12

Book: Shattered Sighs