'six Little Fingers' Or the Norwich Song

When I was a boy of two or three, My dad and cousin said to me; 'You'll be the gee-tar player in a big folk band', ‘'With those six little fingers on your right webbed hand', ----------------- So he went straight out to make me a star, And he sold his horse and bought a new gee-tar; But a band needs maybe two or three, So my daddy brought in some family. ---------------- There was cousin Jeb with his massive chin, He could play pee-anna and the violin, There was cousin Pete on the double bass, His teeth were huge and covered half his face. --------------- My cousin Jane was an easy choice, With her long gold hair and an angels voice; And daddy noticed too that as she grew, She had udders like our old cow daisy too. --------------- We practised hard till we were good, But every now and then we would; Be forced to play without our singer, Cause she'd be in the hay with a local minger. --------------- So when we'd growed and we could play, We loaded up the cart one day, We headed out, past our own land With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand. -------------- We got on stage on the opening night, My hand felt stiff and my stomach tight; But we couldn't begin without our Jane, And she'd disappeared round the back again. ------------- The curtain opened but the stage was bare, We couldn't find jane anywhere; Then I found them bangin in the nearest loo, Now cousin jane is my auntie too! ------------ We came back to Norwich and broke up the band, I'm not the big star that Daddy had planned, But I'm the fastest milker in the whole damned land, With my six little fingers on my webbed right hand.