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Sing a Thong of Seafood

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Below is the poem entitled Sing a Thong of Seafood which was written by poet Tony Lane. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Sing a Thong of Seafood

What could be better than sitting in a restaurant together you and me, And starring into the crystal sky above the deep blue sea? We ordered up some seafood dinners we didn’t want to order steaks, And then for an appetizer I got a pair of their crab cakes. They were the best that I’ve ever eaten, even when visiting the south, They were large, tender and delicious and they melted in my mouth. Nothing could make this dinner better it was the greatest thing by far, Until a blond wearing see-through stretch pants seated herself at the bar. OK it got a little bit better then, but still I knew that it was wrong, Because her stretch pants were so transparent you could clearly see her thong. And I don’t mean a faint outline where you might think you saw something red, It was right there on her bare derriere and while I’m old, I’m still far from dead. It might have helped if she wasn’t cute or if she wasn’t built the way she was, But she was cute and built and that would explain just exactly why because, Like me, every guy in the place was thinking exactly the same thing, How long can I get away with staring until I get a slap that’ll sting? So I took the lead and pointed her out to my wife and she just rolled her eyes, “Good luck getting a refill of iced tea now I bet our waiter never even tries.” It was true that every waiter in the place called this girl by name, She was a popular regular and they were moths drawn to her flame. What was it that has brought this child down to this lowly state? Why can’t she afford clothing that covers her up why didn’t she have a date? “I bet that I know,” I said to my wife, “why she came here dressed that way, Why it is she feels the need to be noticed and put herself on display.” I pointed out that as each waiter passed by her they brought her a little dish, Just a sampling of something good to eat whether, shrimp, crab cakes or fish. “The only way that this meal would be better is if you didn’t have to pay, I believe that was her intention and I think that she’s discovered the way.” So if you would like to dine on a meal of fresh fish from the sea, Make them believe that you’re the dish and then you can dine for free.

Copyright © Tony Lane

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  1. Date: 1/1/2013 2:35:00 PM
    Tony , making an appearance on the soup today. Only 2 wish you this coming year to be a glorious one in which rewards all your future poetry with success. I love the time I took out of the first day of the year. 1-1-2013* :-) Just to wish you the best of 2013. Take care my dear poet friend. PD

  1. Date: 1/9/2012 12:02:00 AM
    sweeetie pie, tony! ahh women, do we wear too revealing clothes?? :)huggs!

  1. Date: 1/7/2012 6:18:00 AM
    Cheeky Monkey, You and the subject! LOL. Happy New Year, Chum. We're off to see in laws today. Long car ride. Ugh. With a tot. This poem is really funny. Dinner and a show. I was once on a bus and got so fed up of the underwear displayed by a low riding pair of pants I asked the girl, "Did you know I can see your panties?" The teen blushed and hefted up her skin tight jeans. Now, I'm a mom. And terrified of the future. LOL. What in the world will they be wearing in 15 years? AWK!

  1. Date: 1/6/2012 1:06:00 PM
    explicit seafood lmao hahahaha omg i died laughing heads up 7up!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Date: 1/6/2012 1:04:00 PM
    lol tony your poems always crack me up dude =)) i love coming here =) i feel like a child in a candy store when i come to your page lol

  1. Date: 1/6/2012 6:31:00 AM
    Very funny. Nicely penned. Enjoyed. bl

  1. Date: 1/5/2012 1:37:00 PM
    luv this seafood song Tony,.. excellent lines of tempting yumminess.. good luck if for a contest.. thankxx for wonderful encouraging remarks.. so appreciated my friend.. lots of luv..

  1. Date: 1/5/2012 1:37:00 PM
    Oh Tony Tony you are so funny I absolutely adored this, it is jus the cutest, what a great way to start the morning laughing with one of Tony's poems. So clever you are so good at this! Hugs Lizzie

  1. Date: 1/5/2012 11:42:00 AM
    I'm so hungry...I think I need a good plastic surgeon... ;P a fun write! I wonder what mandy would write if she were here - pov of hot girl? waiter? the food? hope she comes back soon. and thanks for reading my work - feedback always appreciated :)

  1. Date: 1/5/2012 10:13:00 AM
    Thoroughly enjoyed this, Tony. Funny, my husband says the same thing about being old but not dead. Hmm. Love, Kim

  1. Date: 1/5/2012 8:59:00 AM
    very funny is this write, and u are an excellent observer and what an interesting way to express it , loved it, jag