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Silent Pain, Screaming

Leaving my car, I hasten my pace as silent pain, screaming inside me intensifies with the increasing movements made by what I only can describe as an invisible snake slithering beneath my flesh. It’s felt by only me, and seen by no one - the strange phenomenon of a nervous system gone awry from side effects of the “miracle” of modern medicine. I know my conditions now by the title of Neuropathy, but that definition does not come close to describing what I experience unceasingly. Mere “tingling or numbness” would be preferable to the feeling of a slithering serpent squeezing or pressing down along my back. Striding into the grocery store, I find what I need as quickly as I can. At any time, my metaphorical serpent might decide to wildly strike, perhaps while in the checkout line as I wait with my silent screaming - Please, line, move! Just let me finish here! Afterward, with grocery bags in hand, I scramble to my car. Once inside, I press my back against my seat. Ahhhh, relief! The snake loses its momentum when I am reclined or pressing myself against a surface, and so I am not physically as active as I used to be. People with chronic unseen disabilities are not just a few. When you chance to see someone fidgeting in a line, looking as if they’d like to “jump out of their skin,” maybe you are seeing someone like me with silent pain, screaming from within. Nov. 19, 2022 For Edward Ibeh's Pick-A-Title, Vol 33 Poetry Contest #3 chosen: Silent Pain, Screaming

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Sotto Poet

Date: 12/16/2022 5:42:00 AM

Congratulations, Andrea, on your win in the contest. In addition, I want to congratulate you on facing the excruciating suffering in your life with such fortitude.

Valsa George

Date: 12/15/2022 6:26:00 PM

Congratulations Andrea on your podium win. Also congratulations on taking life stoically despite all physical agonies.

Edward Ibeh

Date: 12/15/2022 6:29:00 AM

Awesome, harrowing penning, Andrea! This made me teary-eyed, I must admit. You will feel better by the grace of God. Heartiest congratulations on your win in my contest!

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 12/15/2022 12:08:00 PM

thanks so much. Maybe I am not in God's grace. Prayers are not helping me, but I will keep surviving. Many people endure much worse than I do.

David Kavanagh

Date: 11/22/2022 3:08:00 PM

Neuropathic pain is very real Andrea, you describe it perfectly as the serpent within, how on earth it doesn’t spill over into more of your poems I’ll never know, as it tends to cause chronic depression and anxiety, but your mind and willpower seem strong, and you have some coping positions, I wish you well going forward, a brilliant informative write, cheers David

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/22/2022 3:11:00 PM

thanks, David, for saying I have willpower. I think God blessed me with a cheerful nature. Also, I used to be called "cold" because I was not given to expressing much emotion as a child. I had to learn to SAY "I love you" to people because it was not in my nature as a child. My numerology and astrology support my being a person who is very stable and not easily rattled by things, so I guess that's what keeps me going despite the horrible feelings. Thanks again for understanding where I am coming from. As a Five/Seven, I'm a Peter pan who just wants to have fun!

Joe Maverick

Date: 11/21/2022 5:10:00 AM

Dear Lord God.' Incline I pray your merciful Power upon Andrea, and any others hurt by Malign intervention.' Not that I am Anything other than that which you drew From earths crust.' I acknowedge your ultimate Wisdom and teaching and power' in all things I entreat your help in Jesus.' Bless the Lord.!

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/21/2022 9:27:00 AM

thanks, Joe, I have learned to accept my conditions after spending thousands of dollars for treatments and some of those doctors were quacks I am sure.

Valsa George

Date: 11/20/2022 7:59:00 PM

So you have a condition that even Medical Science cannot define ! Is it something close to spinal stenosis? I can feel your pain ! Hope you will become better in course of time. Great poem !All the Best in the contest!

Valsa George
Date: 11/24/2022 9:50:00 PM

Andrea, I feel awfully sorry for you dear. I know how hard it becomes when eating turns painful, one of our most pleasurable activities. Still you brave everything stoically and write beautiful poems and care your pets and your friends.

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/20/2022 10:14:00 PM

I looked up spinal stenosis. it's not that. It's like my nerves became a wildfire on my back as well as inside my mouth. I bet even Mayo Clinic could not help me.

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/20/2022 9:21:00 PM

It started with internal spinning and excessive saliva. Worse and worse with each prolia injection. Over 2 years time. Now my mouth has become neuropathic and is actually my worst problem. I cannot describe how awful it is and how strange it is to eat food. Thanks for caring.

Joanna Daniel

Date: 11/20/2022 4:29:00 AM

Oh! I can feel it, Andrea, hope you get better...

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/20/2022 10:14:00 PM

Thanks, Jo.

Jennifer Walker

Date: 11/19/2022 8:01:00 AM

Oh, Andie Pandie, I sure wish that someone, something could take that sensation away. I felt the pain you feel through this poem. I'm thankful that you have this outlet (writing poems) to express those silent pains to those who will listen.

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 11/20/2022 10:16:00 PM

Thanks, Sis. . At least five people put me on different church prayer lists for the past five years. I don't think God relieves all people of their ailments. maybe one day I will understand the reason Prolia affected me this way. Sorry for you too with the awful psoriasis thing you have.