Silence

The sadness passes for some, but it has never passed for me. Told by a thousand cold hearts, that this is how it needs to be. But they moved on, and left me here, in the realm of the past. Taunted by echos of happier times, the times that were never to last. Now in my mind, the memories swirl, into a bittersweet hue. Reminding me always, of the happenings of then, and of how I've come to lose you. Much like for the dancing rainbows across that kitchen floor, The sunlight has gone for me now, and what was once was is no more. But I still hear your laugh, and I still feel you there. Though when I open my eyes, it all still seems unfair. You may try to forget, but I never can, the better times of before. The times I truly believed were real, that it hurts to believe are no more. A mothers smile, a fathers laugh, the feeling of the loved ones so close. The passage of time, and the heartbreak of change, is what affects me the most. Still, who is to say, that all is done? Not I, I say, not I, for one. I am a woman now, and sometimes that's all people see. But I am not just a woman; there is a deeper heart in me. My heart is the heart of a child, my eyes the eyes of that girl. And I think that that is better, to have a purer look at the world. My heart still aches for their company, my soul yearns still for their time. But I understand that those things are lost, and I suppose that, that is fine. I am an adult on the outside and of mind, so please know that I understand. I still do adult things, although I find them bland. But I have the heart of a child. And it yearns to be held tight. By someone close, and yet too far.. and too long vanished from sight. Torn between needing them, and understanding why they aren't there... Though my heart is breaking, I'll pretend the pain is not there. Above all else, I understand, and know they had to choose... And I also know it is not just me who had those things to lose. Someday things will be different, I say to my childhood self as she cries. Someday we may again be one, my adult self hopes for and sighs. All that I can do is wait, me and my adult self both... I have to wonder all the while though...if it is I who have cried the most..