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Shivers

Wintry night, the clouds were churning While the lightning lit the sky The old house it shook and trembled As the howling wind went by. I put out the waning candle Total darkness all around It felt cold, in bed I snuggled Heard the thunder’s drawling sound. It took ages till I drifted Into rough and restless sleep When at once I felt me falling Down a tunnel deep and steep. Chilly hands wrapped tight around me Felt the breathing of a ghost; In a daze it tugged and led me To the open ragged coast. Had no strength or will to struggle The cold water dragged me down Uncontrolled the helpless feeling Of a man about to drown. Then I woke all of a sudden And I saw the dawning light Found myself all wet and sweaty From the dream I had that night. So relieved! I felt elated. What an ugly fright I’d had. Then I looked and saw beside me Soaking seaweed on the bed!! ------------------------------------------- 23rd October 2014 Contest: Ghosts Stories Sponsor: Kelly Deschler Placed: 4th

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 11/5/2014 5:23:00 PM
Returning to see the seaweed once again. Congratulations on your win Paul.
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/5/2014 5:31:00 PM
Thank you Brenda; a re-visit is much appreciated, so are the congrats! // paul
Date: 11/5/2014 7:37:00 AM
dropping back with my congrats Paul:-) hugs jan xx
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/5/2014 12:54:00 PM
I appreciate your coming back with congrats, Jan...many thanks :) hugs ..... paul
Date: 11/5/2014 6:04:00 AM
Congratulations on your win Paul with this superbly penned quatrain.
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/5/2014 12:56:00 PM
Thank you Maurice; you too did a very good job with your entry! // paul
Date: 11/4/2014 10:29:00 PM
It is so chilling when a nightmare becomes a reality!... This was a very nicely written quatrain poem. I loved the ending! Congrats on your win, Paul!
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/5/2014 1:04:00 PM
I feel obliged to send you a double thank you, Kelly!! Finishing on your winners' list is very much appreciated (so is your extra kind heart:)) hugs // paul
Date: 11/3/2014 3:31:00 PM
What a wonderfully crafted poem to celebrate the night of fright Paul. I can see this one doing very well! I enjoyed it and loved your ending too!#7
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Paul Callus
Date: 11/5/2014 12:59:00 PM
Thank you Connie...you judged correctly, for this write has found its way on the winners' list!! Take care. // paul
Date: 10/29/2014 3:56:00 PM
Cute one ...Got a chuckle..A very subtle ghost story..Thanks for the visit to my page..I am glad my Haiku made you think..My cat is well fed but she loves to catch wild prey especially birds..She brought home either a large field rat or a chipmonk..She must have carried it to the top of the house to eat..Sometimes she leaves me half of her catch..Sara
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/29/2014 5:03:00 PM
Glad you enjoyed, Sara! Thank you for the explanation:) Even my cat is well fed, but it still goes after the birds, etc in the garden! [still thinking about the lioness...does she roar when telling off her young one for being naughty?] :) // paul
Date: 10/28/2014 5:44:00 PM
Scary good stuff Paul! I can't help but love Halloween and creepy writings like this and for me all in the name of fun.Happy Halloween! xxxx D.
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/29/2014 10:50:00 AM
Pleased you liked my scary stuff, Dorian! I realize that Halloween is a treat both for children and grown-ups! Happy Halloween to you, too:) /x/ paul
Date: 10/28/2014 1:06:00 PM
smiling paul loved the use of seaweed wrote one myself called the seaweed monster excellent pen dear friend
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/28/2014 1:58:00 PM
Thank you Liam...glad you enjoyed; I will go hunting for your 'seaweed monster' at the first chance I get. // paul
Date: 10/28/2014 10:14:00 AM
I remember once waking up and there was my ex wife in bed right next to me. A lot scarier than seaweed.
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/28/2014 1:38:00 PM
I think that drowning could be very simple, if one did not fight it!! ... only a matter of seconds, and no pain! No...I am not contemplating it:) Pleased you enjoyed a shiver. Your ex seems to have a sense of humour lol !!! // paul
Date: 10/28/2014 10:12:00 AM
Hate the idea of drowning, it is so scary. That last line creeped me out. The seaweed in your bed. Very scary. In my case I would know my ex wife had dropped in. She does stuff like that just to torture me. I see this entry very high up on the list of winners Paul.
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Date: 10/28/2014 12:09:00 AM
Then I looked and saw beside me Soaking seaweed on the bed!! My!!! a twistfull of horror..real spook...brave Paul. A spooky love creepy hug to you xxxxRAJAT
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/28/2014 12:30:00 PM
Hi Rajat! It is easy to be brave when we sit and write! Thank you for the comments and spooky creepy hug!! (By the way, avoid encounters with mysterious princesses...sounds fishy to me!) // paul
Date: 10/27/2014 8:26:00 PM
Ow gee this is different but you've mastered it so well.I love that eerie mystery of seaweed in bed ,through the end.Excellent!!!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/28/2014 12:27:00 PM
Thank you Charm! I'm not a ghost-writer (excuse the pun) but it was fun trying my hand at it. Glad you enjoyed. // paul
Date: 10/27/2014 9:26:00 AM
Timothy's comment resonates with me as well. I think that's why I like Alfred Hitchcock because it's not gory but mental instead.
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/27/2014 4:23:00 PM
Hi Richard...you're back again! ... and yes, I agree with you; that is why Hitchcock was able to be unique in his treatment of scary topics. // paul
Date: 10/27/2014 12:32:00 AM
Sounds almost like a synopsis for a Stephen King book. Seaweed in the bed caught me off guard! Were it not for the ending I would have felt that the nightmare was close to a blessing - near death experiences make us appreciate the life we are given. But I do like this type of ghost storytelling as opposed to the blood and gore gross-out. That creepiness comes off due to that greatest fear... the fear of the unknown. Luck on the contest!
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Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Date: 10/28/2014 12:20:00 AM
Timothy I do agree with you.A hush fell over my mind and I was knocked down at this seaweed.Poor Paul.
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/27/2014 4:20:00 PM
Thank you Timothy; maybe one day I too will have a best seller:) I believe that simplicity is the key to these types of poems, then a little twist will do the rest. // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 5:12:00 PM
Love it, just the right amount of creepy! Alfred Hitchcock would surely approve.
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/27/2014 3:06:00 PM
I bow to Alfred Hitchcock....he's the master! Pleased you enjoyed...and thanks for visiting. // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 4:10:00 PM
Oohwiee what a great story Paul. I love the seaweed on the bed. Freaky!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 5:01:00 PM
So pleased that you like it, Brenda, especially the seaweed bit! Enjoyed your recent history in carpe diem...worth musing about! Take care. // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 11:36:00 AM
What spooky ghost story you've told here today my friend, I love the texturing and how you've led up to your ending the seaweed in the bed was a nice extra, It's well worth a second read later tonight, great inspirational flavor, good luck in the contest cheri
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 12:26:00 PM
Hi Cherl! So pleased you like this ghost poem...can't compete with your dark writes, but enjoyed having a go at a shivery write. Will go and visit your posts soon...have not been on soup as much as I would have liked due to internet problems. // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 10:35:00 AM
ooh, great spooky write, Paul. Sure to win big. Hope you're well and having a wonderful week, my friend
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 11:11:00 AM
Hi Jack! Great to have you popping in...you're always welcome on here; pleased you found this spooky write to your liking. Hope you've been having a nice weekend. cheers // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 4:50:00 AM
Yes my patients wud be glad to know n will get all chances of taking a revenge,, testing Malaria n hepatitis on me !!!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:56:00 AM
Who would want to take revenge on a lovely lady such as you, UPma?!! Have a nice problem free day:) // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 4:25:00 AM
- Really well that it was only a dream - get chills from reading it - Good luck in the contest, Paul! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:49:00 AM
Hi Anne Lise! Dreams can become reality, you know! ...what about the seaweed!! Thank you for a lovely visit and nice wishes:) /x/ paul
Date: 10/26/2014 3:24:00 AM
Wonerful imagery Paul! Thank God it was just a fiction n not for real ! It really did give a shiver ! Gl in contest!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:47:00 AM
Thank you Upma! Getting shivers is not good for you, but it's a good sign for me:) obtained desired effect! Yes, good thing it's just fiction....or is it?! :) // paul
Date: 10/26/2014 2:57:00 AM
imagery very good.. the evening.. :D!!!! awesome have you had the spot afterall??? hugs... olive eloisa
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Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser
Date: 10/26/2014 7:47:00 PM
hahaha yes i had some shivers in my sine before :P!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:35:00 AM
Good morning and a happy Sunday Olive_eloi!:) We woke up to lovely weather again today, after 3 windy and cloudy days. Did you get any shivers up your spine? Yes...that ending...I gambled all on it:) hugs // paul
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Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser
Date: 10/26/2014 2:58:00 AM
and your ending... :D nicr nice one!
Date: 10/25/2014 7:13:00 PM
nicely done, paul! this is a great entry for the contest - best of luck!
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:10:00 AM
Thank you Ilene! so pleased you like it...that's already a satisfaction for me:) Have a lovely Sunday! // paul
Date: 10/25/2014 6:37:00 PM
oohhhhh fabulous ghostly write Paul the ending was most unexpected - good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xxx
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Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2014 4:08:00 AM
Hope you felt at least a tiny shiver, Jan! Glad the ending caught your attention....I based all the ghost poem on that! Have a lovely day! hugs // paul

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