She Got the House

I was sleeping in bed one sunday morn and I was dreaming of Islands and the trees they adorn I was on the bow of a sailboat looking thru a brass scope checkin out the ladies on the beaches with skin that looked like peaches and though it wasn,t a quater to eleven I thought for sure I must be in heaven then all of a sudden WACK!!!! everything went black I said "This ant where I am!" thats the bottom of my frying pan being held my wife who I called the antichrist was waking me up early that day in the most hurtful of ways she yelled"go dig a darn ditch you good for nothing son of a B____!" well my face was still stinging and the frying pan was a swinging so I grabbed my coffee pot and said "thanks a fricking lot!" I heard the frying pan hit the floor as I ran out the front door well with my coffee and my thong I got the newspaper off the front lawn I looked in the window and saw my wife,s fat abs then I turned the paper to the want ads now I don,t know if it floats but theres a fella in here selling his sailboat it did seem strange cause "that things in my price range!" then without a doupt I got in my truck to check it out well the owners face was angry and long! then I realized "darn I'm still wearing my thong!" but I did like his boat and sure enough it did float so I said"what the heck hey bo will u take a check?" within a minute I won the bid and sail away with her I did never looking back was not a sin I just let the antichrist win then to spite my old spouse I called my boat "SHE GOT THE HOUSE!" by Capt. Mike