Shapeless Pain

1. Shapeless Pain How I wish the mirror were a cinema screen, Portraying that which makes up dreams and imagination. How I wish it had filters to colour my skin, For now I stare at what is far from being God’s creation. Murder I can write, or sing it in a song But writings and songs won’t right what is wrong. How I wish this writing on the slate was erasable. How do I erase it without shattering it all? Tears flow but all they do is corrode its edges. The dark shrieks my name and soon I’m to heed its call. The call to end the misery I miserably bear. Will anyone then at least pretend they held me dear? My pillow now has turned to a pillar of salt. I cry myself into the night, the night grows colder. The regret burns me white as a bright lightning bolt. I try to be brave and bold yet the writing gets bolder. “If only…” the words shatter my eardrum. Oh lord how did I become ever so dumb? They say you can never heal what you never reveal. How do I reveal what will only kill my appeal? How do I deal with pain so surreal and yet so real? Would I dare give in to the devil’s darning deal? If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would play different the hand of cards I was dealt. Sieve through and through my fingers do the sands of time. My mind through hell yet my icy heart won’t melt. As I shatter every mirror, every new one is a horror. As the darkness draws nearer, every ray is a borer. I resort to solitude, yet my mind won’t give me peace. How I wish I could just die and be awoken by a kiss. Lord knows how I feel, lord knows I’m almost done. Should I begin to write my will, or stay on the run?