Shaggy Dog Limericks Vi

The Rottweiler I wouldn’t provoke a Rottweiler Not unless I were prepped like a miler Seems a little inbreeding Done without heeding Has turned Benji into a Sieg Heiler The Saint Bernard Though not in his nature to beg He would flip for a sip from the keg Of the rum or the brandy That dangles so handy His lips near the tips of the peg The Samoyed Samoyed, now that sounds exotic Is it some kind of breed that’s aquatic? Or is it a fox That’s come out of a box With its pigments all pale and sclerotic? The Schnauzer The word that we’ve heard about Schnauzers Is they’re famously shallow carousers The truth is we’re jealous Of these amorous fellas: We’d love to be wearing their trousers The Scottish Terrier Though Airedales are larger and peerless They can’t match a Scottie as fearless And because they’re aloof And will ration a “woof” They’re the dog you are likely to hear less The Shar-Pei and Shih Tzu Shar-Peis and Shih Tzus tantamounts? They look nothing alike where it counts One’s wrinkle, one’s dimple Yet kinship is simple: Their names are so fun to pronounce The Shetland Sheepdog A Sheltie is likely to herd Any creature that’s mammal or bird Except for a CAT (Fuggitabout THAT) Even shelties are known to cry “merde!” The Shiba Inu We still haven’t managed to glean What the words “Shiba Inu” quite mean They may have to do With a brand of shampoo Which explains why they’re always so clean The Siberian Husky He cries to his team, “On you Huskies!” Far from Nome all the way to the Russkies Display all your daring Make haste ‘cross the Bering ‘Cause you’re not just Siberian you’re USkies! The Vizsla The Vizsla is one of those breeds That’s packaged in binary speeds When off it will sleep Like your average sheep But when on will do mischievous deeds The Weimaraner In comparing the fleet Weimaraner With its peers such as Blitzen and Donner Please note in your pick Though the reindeer are quick To this dog a light jog spells dishonor The West Highland White Terrier (Westie) Though he’s found on some Isle of Skye lands His home is the far Western Highlands He’s proud to be Scot So he’ll spot every plot From Dundee to the Hebrides Islands The Whippet They were trained to run after a rag* Which to them was a bit of a drag So they’d bolt from their slip At a pretty good clip And pretend they were chasing a stag The Yorkshire Terrier (Yorkie) The Yorkie has visions of grandeur Such that bigger dogs simply can’t stand her She’ll nip at their heels Abscond with their meals And then yap ‘til she raises their dander