Sex Sells

You asked, “Daddy, where’d I come from?” in your cute and charming way The time was early morning ‘bout 6 bells Confused you looked at my reply I guess you had to bat an eye When I turned and said, “Because my dear, sex sells”. You sat there for a moment thinking long and hard Until a light bulb lit up overhead “Did you purchase mommy?” “No” I laughed out loud and with that look upon your face I knew an explanation further need be said You see, about eight years ago while we were up real late You’re mommy said “Let’s watch the Late, Late Show” There was music from a band and a brunette finely tanned And a skit about a giant talking taco When the guests were interviewed the conversation turned quite lewd And your mother said “Why don’t you get some beers” I put on my coat and hat, grabbed my keys, hurdled the cat and headed to the liquor store most near Upon my arrival, I headed for the cooler Looking for your mommy’s favorite brand Along the way I got distracted (this part will have to be redacted) But the blond really turned your daddy on Then to make the matters worse I bumped into a nurse Who was wearing a provocative bikini I covered up my eyes and much to my surprise It was a cardboard ad for some no name brand martini Now don’t misunderstand, I’m an ordinary man And I’m as loyal as loyal can be But just that simple trip, like the cat with her catnip Made me really, really, really frisky Which just to prove my point, don’t let your nose get out of joint There is no myth here that one can dispel It’s now a part of life and it often causes strife The simple fact is that its true…..sex sells So home I did return and found your mother on the couch She had changed into a teddy black and red We popped open the beer, she placed a kiss upon my ear So I picked her up and whisked her off to bed To your imagination the next part will be left Save to say that we had a lot of fun By the time that we were through we started creating you And in less than twenty minutes we were done Well that look upon your face says you didn’t understand So I’ll tell you what my father told my brother When it comes to birds and bees and making new babies All I can say is “Go and ask your mother” So you did that very thing and a surprise to me did bring That makes my chest two times begin to swell For your mother’s answer too, just like what I had said to you It’s a simple fact of life…..sex cells.