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September Song (Triple Tanka)

like a lover’s sigh she tiptoes forth looking back those warm memories birds still singing cross over and sad sunshine stills the wind now September sings a sympathetic tune silvers promises late gold – the change will be gradual promises sleep painless sleep mysterious calm Llke a magic caesura bated by surprise in mind it’s ever the same such gentle looking forward

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Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/18/2010 3:03:00 AM

OH, wow, DAver, I found an incredible one HERE. this is for favs. it reminds me somewhat of my poem September Born. I was a Labor day child,haha. and I wrote about ASters of september and it was a bit like this one!! Luv, andrea ps. I think i had a few naked poems but not like YOURS EEEKS

Milton Toran

Date: 11/10/2009 3:27:00 PM

Smooth and eloquent! Very picturesque and filled with imagery. Great choice of words. It's actually relaxing. Milt

Sara Kendrick

Date: 9/29/2009 1:07:00 PM

This is a very descriptive Tanka. I really like the last line. Keep writing. Sara

Corinne Curcio

Date: 9/22/2009 4:10:00 PM

Dearest Daver! Wonderful to read this poem again. It's beautiful! I'm glad you like "Werewoman of Brooklyn" - It's fun, isn't it. I have music which I hope to finish recording tonight. I've been writing songs and poems - Hope you are doing well. I was thinking about you the other day. :-) Hugs back to you Corinne

Sue Mason

Date: 9/19/2009 10:07:00 AM

Seems we're on the same page ... smile ... you with this beautiful write, me with my Blog and the air with September's Song ... beautiful write here, Daver. Nice to see your work again. There are too many folks at the Soup to keep up with ... by the way, did I ever get your day/month of your birthday to add to my calendar? Don't need the year to have a birthday song ... smile ...

Corinne Curcio

Date: 9/18/2009 5:06:00 PM

This is gorgeous Daver. It conjures up soothing feelings in me, even though it sings September, and all that could mean.

Donna Golden

Date: 9/18/2009 11:58:00 AM

This is lovely, Daver. You create a tranquil, magical mood with this piece. Blessings, Donna

Date: 9/14/2009 12:20:00 PM

There is so much depth in this poem for the reader to ponder about. I like the creative format. Nice use of imagery. Keep up the good writing. Karen

Elaine George

Date: 9/11/2009 8:08:00 AM

A beautiful melody - evoking such beautiful visions. Your writing is like fine wine - it just get better with age. Thank you for your kind comments, Dave. They mean so much to me. I just couldn't stay away any longer. Love, Lainie

Carrie Richards

Date: 9/9/2009 12:32:00 PM

This speaks so gently that it almost seems too fragile for words....."beautiful" is not enough to say about this poem. It puts me into a dreamlike state...wow...

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 9/9/2009 9:55:00 AM

Thank you Daver for this wonderful piece of September. Love, Carol

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 9/9/2009 8:47:00 AM

This is outstanding. One of the best poems I've ever read. This needs to be published! Love, BG

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/9/2009 7:39:00 AM

A masterpiece, Daver! I love the way you give life to September and the way the gradual change brings "painless sleep." I can feel the numbness of bitter winter and sense the "mysterious calm" that accompanies a new snowfall. Gee, how I miss winter. I have moved in at Ormond and am waiting for phone and internet installation -- tapping a local wifi on a laptop now. Auditioning for Blithe Spirit this weekend. Love your beautiful poem and admire your talent! Carolyn

James Peranteau

Date: 9/9/2009 6:48:00 AM

Your poetry has such a lull to it my friend,..and how on target you are with its persipitation !!! Great write,..into my fav's for inspiring my september,..I'll be reading this again ! TY james