Sense Is Lost

9am, woke up drowsy and hardly alive. Late in the day, coffee was three, four times just to keep myself alive. Drink it as fast as I could to feel it burn my veins, but felt nothing because, the coffee couldn't melt the dry ice in my veins. Friends don't bother calling and calls by me to friends go unheard. What's the point in calling when no one answers me? Been so god awfully lonely. There's nobody around, no one surrounding themselves around me. I'm just an empty husk in a soulless body. Midnight, thoughts are like a newborn keeping me up an craving my attention. Voices scream and demons play, but I'm just this lunatic that's going insane. He speaks to me with words and I look at him with feelings, but if he stabbed me in the chest, maybe then I'll stop feeling. Been wanting to live, but I don't know how. I've always understood myself, but only after I destroyed myself and in the process of fixing myself, I knew who I really was. The rain are my tears and the thunder is my heart breaking...