Self Therapy

How could you possibly smile When everything came crashing down around you And to forgive someone who would try To tear apart your family? Why… Why is it that every time I need to be saved It’s always you who ends up being saved? Where’s my salvation? Every time I play myself as the tragic hero Some terrible circumstance awakens me It awakens me as this world of waste Comes crumbling down And how can you possibly smile today When you know, When you know that you could be next In this garbage disposal we call death? You know it has me paralyzed And you laugh And you shrug it off when I share my fear And make me feel like I’m just an innocent fool So tell me… So tell me why you smile Why you smile when everything’s black? When everything reveals itself? All the coldness of your beauty That you stand before as some perfect statue A statue is all that you can be When you don’t fear what is natural to fear Your shoulder-length blonde hair Your perfect figure Skin just like marble that would knock everyone’s jaws loose If they could only see you as I do You drive me to reinvent myself I’m not the same person I’m not the same person I was before A completely different entity inside of my old body And if I keep changing I won’t be the same one you once knew And what then? What then? Will you leave me alone? Will you abandon me inside a shell I don’t know? And you know I do love you! I do love you And all the exploits you would seek to explore Forcing me to change Inside of a shell I can’t know Is it really you who’s forcing? Is it really me who’s changing? Am I really dead now? Am I really dead now?