Self Destruction

No matter how hard I try My tears won't dry Try,try...try until you die I motivate myself Even when I act good The response is always rude I have done what I should Acted good,good...good I was dumb now I talk With friends I walk In neighbours doors I knock Was mute just let me talk I had hatred in my heart Others feelings I hurt Bit silently like a rat Not anymore love is in my heart Now that I am acting good They come to me while nude Torturing my innocent mind I better be me than to change and impress yet my heart I depress