Self Confidence

I could write about the same things every day for years, you, love, miracles, it would never change anything. You're oblivious to my constant battles with myself. I sit here for hours on end bleeding, continuously pouring my feelings out to you but you never even glance my way. I understand that I'm difficult to love, my mind goes a mile a minute and most of the time I'm an emotional wreck. on the contrary, I'm worth it. I am to be greatly appreciated. My sister always told me that my body is a temple and I am worth more than all of the jewels and treasures that money can buy. I am more than the T-shirt and jeans I throw on early mornings. Under the smile and golden locks, I am broken. as I sit at my typewriter with tears rolling down my face, I ponder what we could've been. I grasp my cup of Joe and wipe my tears. I realize that no one knows what kind of girl I am underneath, I am brilliant but reserved, exotic yet content. I laugh at everything, I can't contain my contagious giggles, they practically spill out of me. i'm irreplaceable, and not to be compared to anything or anyone. I love naps, just collapsing into my bed, disregarding the fact that I'm still in my ripped and jagged jeans, Chuck's on my feet and my ex-boyfriend's flannel on my back. i'm confident, and proud. Yet modest. Yes, I will flaunt my better qualities and I will be happy with who I am. because who honestly cares that I'm wearing yesterday's make up again today. And who gives a damn that I drank two red Bulls this morning just to ensure that I'll make it through the day. because if you're not going to help me, I'm going to have to help myself. And I'll be the first to tell you, you have to put effort in if you want to get effort out.