Secret

I have a secret I can't tell anyone if I do I will be harmed Why couldn't I sound the alarm I have a secret That 36 years later I still carry I feel like Dexter my emotions are guarded The burden is scary I feel used and discarded The secret makes me contort At 6'3" I have broad shoulders I can't let it go, ashamed and worried people will think I'm the pervert. allows me to carry the boulders 36 years later I am having trouble carrying it around I'm strong and brawny yet It still scares me as if it happened today This is getting old being stuck on this merry go round If I think of it or want to say a word I tear up and emotionally run away Built up walls to protect and to keep peering eyes out. Like the wizard of oz I'm afraid for anyone to see behind the curtain I lie to keep it hidden even, Many times Don't know why I let another lie out If I tell you my secret shame is certain. I want to let the pain and hurt go The secret is ruling my domain I can't let anyone know The lies and secrets please let me abstain Instead I hurt the ones I care for and me All I do is try and hide They can't hear the silent plea The fear won't subside Even on bended knee I can't tell my plea I worry someone will find out So now it looks like its just me I want to let it out but I can't shout I have driven away those that I love All because I protect the secret that I don't want Where is gods protection from above Now I am the one no one wants I have a secret I have found my voice I am now looking the fears in the eyes I was molested and but no longer in fear I had a secret