Second Bathroom

Another true tom tale Many years ago, 1971 or 72, We had only one bathroom Normally that would do I had to pee real bad, The bathroom occupied Another tom brainstorm Why not use outside? But I was young and stupid Lazy as all hell, Now I'm the older version, Of yet a stupider tom bell So opened the back door Only 4 houses on our block No one ever likely To see my eager "bladder clock" Soon on I had a stream going When I finally raised my head To spot a vision That filled me full of dread Our next door neighbor's wife On lawn chair and with book Seemed to be fixated watching me And the bizarre action that I took I guess she thought "Oh Pervert!" Would never would I question why All I know is That that moment I could die Did not leave the house for a week Feeling stupid, and mighty meek So if you gotta' go real bad And can't wait no more Do it in your pants And not out your back door.