Scratches (Scars)

At first it was nothing Other people had it; I didn't care Then it became something with him just lying there Short of breath, short of air I took him in, but it was too much No medical plan, no nothing Our money was not enough I prayed and prayed, but after the first week he didn't make it I got so mad, I couldn't take it As I walked back home a cool breeze came in I didn't shiver. I hung my head only thinking one thing: my dad is dead I entered the house. I locked the door I didn't plan to come out anymore I said forget you world The rain starts, and it pours hard The sun is gone. Covered up by grey clouds now I walk through the house with a feeling of unfamiliarness Everything is quiet. Everything is still The house is at rest I go into the living room and turn on the T.V. The news is on; America is fighting Iraq I feel sick and react by throwing the remote at the glass It shatters and sparks fly I knock down the set as I walk by... I was mad Now I'm angry ...to the wall. I punch it. I punch it hard as if I was punching away my anger and frustration to- to God I think about it. My knuckles split and bleed I run through the house now furious ripping stuff apart and breaking anything All the while I think to myself: I should've known there was none I should've known there was no one I was born in the slums, and I grew up rough Our mother left us. My brother died in the war No money. No insurance My father was the only strong standing through it all But now he lays dead because I prayed and I prayed He lays dead This leads me to believe: THERE IS NO GOD THERE IS NO ALMIGHTY FATHER NO SON OF THE LORD NO JESUS CHRIST NO ONE WHO IS THE SAVIOUR OF OUR LIVES HE DIDN''T SAVE A LIFE HE LET IT SLIP NOW MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO GET AWAY AWAY FROM YOU SO NOW I TURN MY BACK I TURN MY BACK ON THE WORLD AND I TURN MY BACK ON YOU LORD BECAUSE I HATE YOU - THE WORLD, THE DEAD, ESPECIALLY THE DESEASES YOU CREATED I HATE IT THE FATHER, THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT I HATE YOU ALL! Now I lay on my bed in the middle of this destruction I made I try to fall asleep, but I cry This pain hurts So much I weep But in the middle of the night I hear Him I hear His voice... My child, have no fear Do not cry Do not worry It was his time to leave It was meant to be He now lives in Paradise City with me The word of the Lord Amen.