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River's Birth

Shawn Sackman Avatar Shawn Sackman - LIFETIME Premium Member Shawn Sackman - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled River's Birth which was written by poet Shawn Sackman. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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River's Birth

Vernal hills collect God’s tears
Torrents surge to shower’s edge
Pooling life’s essence begins
Life’s highway is born

Entry for John Freeman's Contest

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  1. Date: 2/26/2014 1:27:00 AM
    Congratulations John on your win... Well written succinct... Verlena

  1. Date: 2/26/2011 9:07:00 PM
    Congratulations on your Ist Place Win in John's contest, Shawn. Very well deserved. Enjoy! Always, Annalise

  1. Date: 2/26/2011 4:52:00 PM
    I know that God weeps but someday judgment will come..Congratulations on your win..Sara

  1. Date: 2/25/2011 6:18:00 AM
    Congratulations on this outstanding poem placing 1st in John's contest Shawn. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 2/25/2011 3:14:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win.

  1. Date: 2/24/2011 11:52:00 PM
    A BIG congratulations to you, Shawn! Great metaphor of life.

  1. Date: 2/24/2011 6:26:00 PM
    Extremely happy to see you at the top Shawn. Congratulations on your worthy poem's first place honor, Agape, Moses

  1. Date: 1/23/2011 9:26:00 PM
    Thanks,Robert. Your suggestion is great and already implemented. Thanks:0) Shawn

  1. Date: 1/23/2011 8:33:00 PM
    Shawn, everything is quite descriptive. Your second line has one too many syllables. A suggestion: how about replacing "towards" with "to"? That will bring the line down to seven syllables.

  1. Date: 1/23/2011 6:14:00 PM
    good luck in the contest,, sure enjoyed the passion,..p.d,

  1. Date: 1/23/2011 4:05:00 PM
    Very nice and imaginative! It was a beautiful boat ride! Thank you for sharing! Steve