Returned

Alive and breathing, no longer pleading for nothingness. Leaving grieving in the dust was a major must, needing to extinguish that burning pit of despair, gasping for fresh air. Just like that phoenix from those ashes, rising and not despising where I'd been. Requiring darkness to find my light, doesn't always seem right but I'm here. Reborn, no longer sad and forlorn,  taking more than a few baby steps, one foot in front of the other, then another,  just keep moving forward. It's the only thing to do, this is true, but will never happen until it's time. Cannot ever be forced, not coerced, not pushed, pressured or persuaded. I rebelled, was not compelled to react.  Now that I have returned, I yearn to make changes to become a better me. A daily struggle but unearthed from the rubble that once was my whole life. With desires, hope and promise I strive, wanting to stay alive and breathing.