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Swaddled in a grey woollen scarf Soft rain falling gently on your face. Crows CACKLING in the trees overhead Tipping leaves, laden with droplets, DRIPPING like heavy tears, SMACKING the concrete path below. You sigh as you draw close to me FLICK your cigarette, take a draw. Hands trembling, you open the car door The CLUNK of metal breaks the hush. A train RUMBLES in the distance. The scent of your chanel perfume OOZES into the frost chilled car. Outside a gaggle of nurses CHATTER and FIZZ after work. I turn to you and MURMER , Fumbling for words like a fool, You WHISPER clasping your hand round mine, “ I’ll be alright - the tumours benign.” Onomatopoeia Poetry Contest Sponsor - Emile Pinet

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021




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Date: 6/29/2023 10:23:00 AM
A powerful write. Life is filled with both good/bad. Have a blessed day..................
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Date: 2/6/2022 5:03:00 AM
You wrote this poem beautifully. Take care and God bless!
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Date: 11/18/2021 12:27:00 PM
A poem that touched me deeply as my hubby has had cancer and I have had a benign breast lump, many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
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Mike Miller
Date: 11/24/2021 1:06:00 PM
Thank you Jan - This is something that touches so many people. Both my parents too. I hope your husband is now over his cancer and so pleased that your result was benign. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your feedback. Mike x
Date: 11/14/2021 5:18:00 PM
Well-written, great choice of words for the prompt, onomatopoeia. You might use all caps for "swaddled" as well. Congratulations on your piece, love the surprise ending.
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Mike Miller
Date: 11/24/2021 1:08:00 PM
Thank you ! I could almost hear the train in the distance as I was writing it - Thanks for the tip re swaddling - May head to the edit button ! Thank you for your comments Mike
Date: 11/14/2021 5:34:00 AM
WOW! Congrats! Thanks for sharing this... God bless you.
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Mike Miller
Date: 11/24/2021 1:12:00 PM
Thank you Beata. I enjoyed the challenge. God Bless you too.
Date: 11/13/2021 10:32:00 AM
Congratulations Mike! Your heartfelt poem earned a distinguished place in my onomatopoeia contest, well done my friend, Emile.
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Mike Miller
Date: 11/13/2021 3:04:00 PM
Thanks so much Emile ! It was a great idea for a competition and I enjoyed composing this poem in response to it - these competitions are a great way to jump start the poetic muse and get the words flowing again. Thanks for your encouragement

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