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Abuse, of any kind, is unacceptable no matter what “good” comes from it. Abusive, you Lyrically expendable You set my heart ablaze At the peak of your animosity Your apologies lingered amongst the masses Sharing your ovarian milestones Within your visceral declarations Descending unto the bosom of guilty disgust I recall those thrusts of loving remorse As you latched onto my handsome errors Deeply Begging To be my future You got your wish. Mother’s Dearest wisdom became the sentence that now Imprisons our sun Light Shattering rainbow coated sins At the cost of humanity’s violent song You had the last word. You win, my dear silver medal. I was beautiful. The attraction of a stalker’s 4th eye As you prodded my truths Slow danced with these lies I became marked with the cold kiss of God’s wrath. Yesteryear became my final stand against your psychological combat You stole my innocence As you glorify your irradiated sunrise Your self-esteem digging holes in the dirt But, I was the flirt. You would sing to the heavens About how much you loved my all As you ridiculed the way I walked, I talked Oh, how you viciously assaulted my identity You fought for me Because you lacked another to fight against I will pray that you never cross my path. I would wish you well. But, that’d be a lie Which means now you’ll believe me I chose you over Father Figure, as you screamed, threatened, the safety of our world. But, I didn’t love you. I ached to hold you closer as you battered & attacked my brains unto oblivion. But, I didn’t love you. I kissed you in the name of hopeful forgiveness, As you frolicked in one-night stands with speculation But, I didn’t love you. Phone calls not allowed to last under 30 minutes For I wasn’t giving enough to our cause. So, I stayed As you belittled me with backhanded compliments & flirtatious apologies But, I didn’t love you. I was a screw up before I woke up, still I would call you each morning For you were my sunrise BUT, I DIDN’T LOVE YOU! … Could I ever find my innocence again? For I now carry lifetime burdens A payment plan I can never refinance As you walk freely with your disemboweled victories One day My sun Will arrive And I will smile again I will find my sincerity within the storm. I will no longer be almost beautiful I will no longer be almost beautiful. ©D.J.E.

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Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 10/24/2018 11:01:00 AM

Your poetry is always so very good. Timeless I might add. Have a great day dear poet.

Poet Tacito
Date: 10/24/2018 11:14:00 AM

I appreciate that, Pixie. Thanks very much. Cheers to you.

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 4/8/2018 5:58:00 AM

Wow, that is powerful and you got it off your chest, for the time being of writing. I hear that the poem was difficult to write. And it is 'difficult' to read, but so necessary. Many wishes to you and a peaeful journey Kai

Poet Tacito
Date: 4/9/2018 11:29:00 AM

Indeed, I did. It needed to be said. Many thanks, Kai.

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 3/17/2018 1:32:00 AM

"I will find my sincerity within the storm." Deep, pain-stricken hope in those lines. I feel like this whole poem should be spoken, shouted on a stage. It has that monologic, monomaniac grief, passion to it. This one blows me away. If I didn't have time to think it through and someone spoke these words to me, I'd probably be speechless and burst into tears or something. "You fought for me Because you lacked another to fight against"- there's definitive truth in the hurt always, Laura

Poet Tacito
Date: 3/18/2018 8:57:00 PM

This was a very hard writing for me. But, it was important for a multitude of reasons to get it on paper. I can only hope, hope, hope that I never have a reason to write something like this ever again. Thank you so very much for stopping by again, Laura!!!