Reflective Step

As I look in the mirror I'm at a crossroads with my reflection, for I'm seeing the mask and feeling the reason for it. Dense were the movements and actions that made me regress to the past for I'm wondering and even praying more that the feelings of this life last , for I'm in deeper than I have ever been. I had to lose a life to gain a life, and wondering if it's possible to live to see my future, For the first time...or am I envisioning the final moves, not petrified...But am I ready to die for family ,beliefs, and the new epiphany of my redemption for I ask the lord my calling and am accepting my role in conscience reality. Opening my mind to free , feeling enslaved ,for the outside world to eyes wide shut I'm a regular man and I know I am thorough. But is what I walked into an unweaveable web, that I can't figure out whose the player or I'm being the joystick in my own surrender in a surmised serenity?.