Reflecting the Brake From Back In the Day

Let bygones be bygones though bygones bite on Blessed to have had good times it’s life it went wrong though it hurts good memories to the end they’ll always be my friends and never enemies mean the most I’ve ever meet Maybe I had to blank it out cus moving on ain’t easy for along while comatose mind stumped and sleepy recently awoken confused but as thoughts now free and clear my clear thought is I didn’t think clearly In hindsight I see the weed held me in checkmate couldn’t steer perspective from collision course and failed brakes concussed confusion finds ease pointing blame at mates messed up not perfect life doesn't offer two takes conclusions have me doubting when back then thoughts collapsed in stopping short of the end so now on these I can't depend It’s scary when you can’t work it out all’s unknown a fear constant doubt trust none want alone mind drought drained yet in the drain you drown leaves you free of will and urges no thought of do I deserve this painless switched off ignorant bliss simply forgotten by the mind it is however over time the avoidance starts too rumble with it layers of your very being shatter crack and crumble earthquakes on the ground surrounding this bunker tunnel you choose to be cocooned in as life's too much trouble playing a game but not accepting cards dealt refusal to play runs down your health physically present mentally in stealth unable to configure controls for yourself refusal to pursue chokes you rotten what complicated find's complications chucked in waste no place for them good times have a place for them I've been up and down many a time left and right even went around travelled far and out of sight thoughts I've had were dumb thoughts of bright but have to carry on with pride good times leave me warm inside what unsorted now not thought off I'm no longer stewing over you lot there's never anyone else like you truth is I miss all I do in the past I was blessed true I confess I hate this mess too how it broke up and fell through but I'm so thankful it built in the first place years of our lives in shared spaces my faces now taken from those faces but have to say this thank you so much memories leave me touched so much so they often crush broke clean let's never destruct maybe in time we'll meet back up if need be I'm still here to back you up if you show me you're in it for me then indefinitely friends infinity we'll be