I slithered through, I waded through
Its bitter pills I tasted,
I had its bitter feel at the tip of my tongue,
A taste I was never to forget for long.
Moments of tears
Moments of bitterness
Moments of sorrow
Moments of laughter
Moments of pain
Moments of sanity and insanity;
I saw them all.
When I sit on the meadow
Gazing at the moon and the stars
And how they illuminated the earth,
I remembered the moments when I cried myself to frenzy,
Several moments I laughed senselessly, aimlessly and crazily
Like the demented man on the streets.
In my moments of insanity
I was torn between two worlds: Sanity and Insanity.
The world I belonged, I couldn’t define,
I was nowhere, just somewhere lost forever
In an uncanny web of uncertainty.
Sometimes, in my docile state,
I saw my friends ride the best of cars
Wear the best of clothes.
In my quiet moment,
In my state of bitter meditation
I remember a quote I once heard:
“Hope is what keeps you going when all hope is lost,
So never you lose hope on hope, hope will one day
Take you to the place of your dreams.”
I never knew what it meant or how it felt,
But intuition told me that it must be something;
Something that affirms and cements ones faith in something.
I could feel an overwhelming sweet feeling enveloping my entire body,
Then did I know I was on the right track.
Flipping through the pages of the Bible,
I saw the story of Jabez,
Born a child of sorrow, he cried, prayed to God
And got his redemption
Arms outstretched to the Heavens
I called out the name of the Lord,
I never knew if He existed or not,
But I could feel His aura in my heart and around me.
Tears flooding my eyes,
Joyful feeling engulfs me,
And I could hear a voice from the Heavens and within me,
Telling me “don’t give up”
Only cowards give up the struggle in life.
You are a warrior, go out to the world and tell them it is not over,
You can do it again”.
Smiles all over my face,
I rise up, step out of the alcove.
Gazing into the skies, I could feel a warm cool breeze sweeping me all over.
I step out onto the streets,
My life brand new,
Life will never be the same again.
Tis a new day, a day full of hope and grace,
I had once lost faith in myself and in everything.