Recent Random Events

I woke my daughter up this morning She sat up and I said, "Good morning, sugar." She looked at me and said, "A monkey's uncle." What's that kid dreaming about, anyway? Our dishwasher went out So I told my wife she would just have to wash by hand from now on She said, "That's fine. You can use your hand from now on, too." So I bought a new dishwasher My dog, Zayla, got into a fight with a Shetland pony And lost horribly The pony stomped one of Zayla's toenails off So I tied a hawk feather to her collar And have been calling her Zayla Three Toes I named the Shetland pony, Dances With Hooves. I told my wife I was going to strip down, put on a loin cloth, and attempt to ride Dances With Hooves She said, "But what if the neighbors see you?" I thought about this And replied, "Then maybe they'll start keeping that darn Shetland pony penned up."