Raped

Lost Innocence Anonymous Looking back on a time and place, Seeing a child's innocent face. Knowing that things aren't as they appear, For inside I cry silent tears. Deep inside, I am filled with pain, I feel dirty and full of shame, Innocence lost at a very young age, Locked me in a pain filled cage. There is no freedom or escape, From the fact that I was raped. While the guilty man is roaming free, I am sentenced to eternity, Eternity locked away with all this shame, I can't help but feel that I am to blame. Even though common sense says it was not my fault. I can't seem to help from having these thoughts, What ifs keep running through my mind, I keep going back to those moments in time. If there isn't something I could have done, Why didn't I scream, or at least try to run. Fear kept me frozen to the spot, While this man did what he should have not. Shame and fear made me keep the silence, Kept me from telling anyone about the violence. The thing that is shocking beyond belief, Is that I could not get any relief. The same thing happened again and again, the first one was just how it began. More than one man did his worst, None of them caring about the child they'd hurt. After the first time, was it easy to tell. Was it my pain and shame they could smell?