Pull the Trigger

“Pull the Trigger” Waking up from dreams that seemed like reality Tormenting my brain with thoughts of trigger actions Fantasy land is a place for laughter and peaceful serenity Reality has no happiness for painful reminders shake me with open eyes Fields of wild flowers consume my peaceful dreams Birds singing of love while the winds softly whisper Leaves cascading through the air I breathe allowing myself to smile I wish I could stay in the world where my mind is at peace with my soul The darkness surrounding my inner self won’t allow my conscience to rest Every day the struggle to survive one more day to breathe, to laugh, to love Running to escape the quicksand beneath my feet so that I may find solid ground Trying to save this pathetic smile so that one day it might be visible by the eyes staring at me Windmills turn with the wind like my imagination conjures up ways to escape Always considering my options of how my life can turn to dust So tired of being the one on the outside looking through the window of suicide Let this sacred heart be free to float away as I pull the trigger ending this consuming sickness