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Prince

We would ride on steeds of metal down the dirt trails towards the farm where we would feed the horses play with the chickens and run after deer with a golf ball. We’d bike all around and sprint away from the big pit bull that the little girl set off after us. And then we’d find ourselves in the field Alone You on top of me Hands lingering touching everywhere causing my skin to tingle in delight. Lips pressed against each other’s Then your’s move to my neck we lay there in the grass breaths intertwined. Movies at night laying on the couch. Adventures to the mall eating Cinnabon and trying on hats. Then me laying on your lap your touch warm against my ever cold skin. Those were the days of light. But then the darkness came.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 10/8/2014 12:46:00 PM
- Warm welcome to PoetrySoup, Holly - I choose your first very well written poem - Nice to meet you! - Hope you will be satisfied with our "soup family" - we are many .. but has plenty of room for you too- Be kind and keep PoetrySoup as a haven -(Comment on the poetry of others and they will comment on yours.) Thank you for posted your words and thoughts here, I want to come back to read more another day. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Holly Laudenslager
Date: 10/8/2014 2:12:00 PM
Of course! ^^ I'm going to post more soon so be sure to come back soon! :)
Date: 10/8/2014 11:15:00 AM
I have meant that you have used two lines "Those were the days of light" and "But then the darkness came"(one following the other)set in opposition in order to emphasize differences stimulating the poetic mood and ensuring a sudden dramatic effect. These lines have set the tune for your poem and made your poem successful. love.
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Holly Laudenslager
Date: 10/8/2014 2:10:00 PM
Thank you :) I'm glad to hear that you like it! I'm going to post more soon so please keep a watch on my channel
Date: 10/8/2014 10:40:00 AM
A sudden disappointing contrast..... highly poetic reverse swing. love.
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Holly Laudenslager
Date: 10/8/2014 10:57:00 AM
Could you please expand on what you mean by that? I'm new on here so I don't know much of the shorthand.

Book: Shattered Sighs