Press '1' For English

I grew a beard while waiting for you it looks more and more like I'll never get through My left ear was aching I switched to my right This perpetual holding has no end in sight I wish I'd have noticed before such great cost that your phone number spells out 800-GET-LOST Though I pressed '1' for English I am thinking now pressing '12' for Braille might work better somehow My friends have all passed on my children have grown while I have been sitting here holding this phone Your toll-free number is anything but with pulse-pounding migraine and a pain in my butt Yes, I was clean shaven when this number I called but now I'm all wrinkled and dammit I'm bald! My bones they will find still sitting right here the telephone clenched where once was my ear And your endless recording monotonous, dull will be amplified through my cold empty skull