Prayer of the Broken-Hearted

Father, where are you? Please give ear to my plea. Those I started the race with have gone far, And I am left far behind. For my legs have grown feeble, Too feeble to carry my weight, That I fall with each stride. Going forward is a great ordeal, Going backward a stigma of cowardice. Did I desecrate your consecrated ground? Did I cause the treachery of man? Or are my teeth set on edge Because of unripe fruit eaten by others? My heart is always bleeding From pangs of sorrow and pain. My eyelids are heavy From an ocean of tears. Each night, ghosts torment me In the day, phantoms ridicule me. When the wind blows, Needles caress my skin. When the birds sing, It is dirges I hear. I wanted to find succor By taking the course of Judas When he realized his greed for silver Had caused the shedding of sinless blood But I abhor the ignominy of self annihilation. Please, the Benevolent One, Deliver me from this abyss of despair For in my own mortal imagination I have done no wrong. But if You say I am not guiltless, Forgive and lift me up.