Poison

The taste of a warm, clear liquid runs through my throat. The bitter taste of love, feelings and emotions all in one clear bottle of venom. How did it end to this, how did i end up doing this? The taste gets bitter and bitter just like the flavor of you. The fiery burn is hotter than hell itself, but i continue going on. With every drink is another memory to forget, with every drop is another story to be forgotten. The numbness of feeling no pain gets stronger and stronger, Every action, every word ever spoken completely disappear with just another drop. I soon forget but that doesn’t make me stop, why? Shouldn’t the void clear up now? shouldn’t the emptiness fill up with the venom, filling me up? Shouldn’t the dark turn to a grey color and shouldn’t i be satisfied with the warm, fuzzy feeling of forgetting? No, because how could you forget the emptiness, how could you forget those words, how can you turn an addiction to nothing more than a piece of forgotten string. How can you turn love into hate, and how can you turn me into a person? With the month of addiction, the month of trial and error how did i end up being hurt the most? How did i end up turning into someone i’m not, how did i turn to the venom for forgiveness and hope. 5 years old, 8 years old, 10 years, 11 years old I swore to myself i wouldn’t. I swore the poison would never go into my body, and become my only resort to the paradise called hope. I swore i would never let substance control me. But the ashy taste of cigarettes and the burn of venom became my best friend. They became the only thing that let me forget, and let me feel something more than an endless void, a dark hole in my heart and vibrant colors in my mind. They became the only thing to look forward to in the day, the only thing i wanted. It became very clear to me that the venom i depended on was the poison you left me with. The only thing i had left was the taste of the warm, clear liquid showing me hope..