Poetry Defined

**Disclaimer: This is strictly satire-tongue-in-cheek-written before I became a poet- sort of. An opportunity to laugh at myself but poets, rock! Poetry Defined Poetry is tedious with its silly syntax and similes and symbolism and analogies and allegories and…alliterations. Stein said, “a rose is a rose is a rose” until it isn’t, claims Magritte. Why does it have to be so… abstract? It isn’t a game show- Don’t make me guess; what has velvety concentric circles when dried creates mind numbing potpourri? Poetry is bouffant. Marie Antoinette pompous and full of itself. Rhythm and rimes- iambic pentameters or haiku just tell me the story. It’s laborious and lengthy- ever read a short poem that said anything? Poetry is frivolous – all the skipping throughs and dashing off to sunsets and crossing ponds. It short circuits the brain and takes liberty with punctuation and lack of paragraphs with its stops and starts and no periods or commas to know when you can breathe again or drift off or get a snack. Never put an exclamation point in poetry! (exclamation point noted) That’s excitement; poetry is nonchalant; like a lazy tabby reposed on a tattered couch. “ I’d rather not be analyzed,” declares the poet. “I have a shrink.” For me a simple story will do like, My “once upon time” won’t really rhyme and at the end you will see they can still say “I love you” without sitting under a tree.