Pies Politics and Birds

Pies Politics And Birds 300 lbs. can’t hide my weight from stealing pies from bakeries But I need my pies and will not be deprived A warm pumpkin pie slides inside my shorts Blueberry and cream go in the back and sides A large slimy apple and a peach fit beneath my shirt Icy against my thick hairy chest; is a little messy Then a cheese cake stuffed inside my socks As I waddle to the door to make an invisible escape Ninja like and subtle, hoping no one sees my size The baker stops me at the door Questions why I’m stealing all his pies Good sir, you are mistaken I assure you! I am a politician on a mission Gathering crumbs for my constituents There are birdies just outside as clear examples, who adore me Sir, do you realize who you are talking to?! I am the president of Venezuela, former bus driver par excellence Appointed and anointed by Hugo Chavez himself before he died I have evidence; see for yourself at this address http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/03/nicolas-maduro-hugo-chavez-little-bird_n_3007965.html I kid you not Here I am speaking to the former dead leader today on national TV He has taken on the form of a very little bird Speaking fluent through his tiny beak to me In Spanish, Parakeet and sparrow, Spanisparrowkeet for short Therefore you cannot have me arrested, that’s for sure I am the law and former bus driver of the people for the people Now as president, I place pies in my shirts and shorts Stay clear from me or I will start a war Starting with your store