Philmon the Mad Scientist

Everyone in town knows Philmon is a mad scientist It's not his little hunchback buddy Or the crazy smocks in which he's always dressed It's not the lighting clouds over his house Or the strange sounds from which his basement grew No, it's not any of those things That gives the town it's clue It's not all of the darkened birds That hang out on his fence Or his subscription to weird science weekly And on what it is his time is spent Not even when things always turn up missing Down at the local graveyard No, it's the "HONK" if you love Mad Scientists sticker On the bumper of his car