Take everything out of me,
& on the days i’m not wanted,
I am left emptied
all of the way out.
A pleasant ‘medicine’ to show others just how good I make you feel, & how good I taste.
I’d be lying to say that hearing those words doesn’t make me spring right back up even in a setting as disintegrating as this.
I’m still here, ready to break off a piece of plastic from my narrow body for you.
It is you after all. I’d do it if I had too.
But, you confuse me.
You keep my head lifted & it keeps you entertained.
I like it, kind of. It’s like we’re getting to know each other’s touch, and see similar smiles to those of when we first met.
This makes it easier not to think too much about how I’m handled.
You’ve never treated me this way.
I’ve gotten my big head stuck before by trying to fill myself up with much more than you needed,
but this feeling of loneliness by you is unfamiliar.
I love you, I say. I love you, I show.
You love me, you say. You love me, I believe.
I hate the feeling of feeling cheap. You told me that I was especially manufactured for someone of your taste, & I believe every word of that.
Stop pressing my head down into my stomach, please.
I’m starting to get sick of not seeing everything that kept me full of your every desire to see me smile.
I could never be naive enough to say that I can fulfill who you are,
because I have a purpose that involves much more than
going up and down, emptying my insides with temporary dissolving gestures.
But I know I can share with you
the essence of being the someone who treats you as good as the planets you can’t see.
So align me inside the atmosphere of your care, & I’ll pick you up before you can say, “deSpenser”