Perfection

( Nb- I can assure the reader that this is in no way autobiographical- absolutely impossible) Excuse me, madam, you're too fat and Lady, you're too thin. Your hair's not blonde cascading curls you've dull and spotty skin. An hourglass figure is out of reach for somebody like you you look like you are pregnant and your butt needs toning, too. Foundation and some blusher could improve you, for a start then work on your eyeliner, though you'll find that's quite an art. Try these techniques, be careful though, you won't know when to stop then one day you will look like me- product of Photoshop.