Pathetic

To never be happy again, I announced it; at the time perfectly justified now regret is the tennis ball on my side of the court I fear it may have been a declaration of Surrender a personal skeleton song to place the lyrics on the closet door transformed into a personal petition against myself Explanation, it would explain so much yet so little just the same The tired cliche, 'Oh how the mighty have fallen', still sings like a canary but the eagle in my words causes it to become mute I have never been mighty in my life, just a few knots below treacherous The facade I carry carries me into my own invincibility would you believe invincibility demands vulnerability and vulnerability places me in front, the first slave to fight but I'm the first to lose, cast aside with a lost arm while someone else takes the glory meant for me Weakness weighs deep; even a room can't contain me I have sold my ability to breathe to overdose on nitrogen again The rising crevice in my stomach burns like oil across a lake Is it only my asthma returning or a combination of something worse The results hang in the air like damp clothes on a clothesline An assistance of a psychiatric, it's been requested yet protested by me I can do it all on my own but the accomplishments I've made on my own none This may be my only chance to correct this but I want so very bad to refuse this but I'm not Taproot, I can't claim no surrender, surrender I hang my head in defeat while placing my rebellious pride somewhere I can't remember and waste away in the comfort of my comforter The point in being mobile, I see none, if I need a constant manual stating 'The Fundamentals of Breathing' Laughing it off, impossible, unavailable now Well why not; the punchline has always been me... but the punchline has decomposed into a bag of dust Pathetic...