Past Follows

funny how the past follows just when you thought you got rid of it, funny how it rears its ugly head & wants a piece of the new you to remember being less--- funny how the past taps one on the shoulder, at the moment of your greatest triumph & brings you down further than you ever thought it could--- funny how quick you can make a fist--- funny how quick you can grit your teeth--- funny how easy it is to open that reserve of pure unadulterated anger, RAGING INSIDE RAGING INSIDE RAGING INSIDE (that’cha kept away quietly just for these occasions, just behind the eyes where you wanted it) & all of a sudden you’re right back where you started, all of a sudden you’re back in the habit, all of a sudden you’ve wasted it all, washed away every smidgeon of progress, face to face with the disgusting, real you, that you couldn’t gut out of yourself with a fishing knife.