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I see how I trap myself every time I think in my defense. I don't even have to speak and every speech tangles me deeper in darkness. I wound my case with every word. Where is the path out of this place? The little tricks no longer seem to work. So alone when no allies can defend me. The worst sin is peace. Ok. It is the people on the other side of the screen who most concern me. It is the fantasy of fame. I can stop entertaining fantasies. I can let that slip away and just laugh and taste. I can observe and understand. The pain of this will not kill me. It will just fade me as if I put on my dressing gown.