Parting Instructions For My Oldest

You did not choose to be born, much less Black Lives Really Should Equally Matter born into this legacy, your familial and civil Two-Connecticuts destiny. I realize that, And regret perhaps my own choices in response to invitations for care-giving and healthcare-receiving were probably too egocentrically universalized creolized so that whatever felt best to me at the time would necessarily be best for you, born into this diverse range of my health and pathology choices for me, now also for you. No one asked, including me Do you think a young African-American ADHD adult, single, poorly educated, challenged as employable with unresolved anger and fear issues about whether he is care-giving enough to deserve to become self care-receiving, is left to care for a gay virgin nerd younger adult game-addicted brother who believes he is actually allergic, and perhaps alien, to Mother Earth, AND an oppositionally bipolar nymphomaniac youngest princess sister with cerebral palsy and difficulty speaking, civilly or usually otherwise, and concomitant difficulties not talking to herself while jumping and slapping and forgetting to go only on the toilet, AND your youngest brother, also with cerebral palsy and a wheelchair, without capacity to speak or sign yet with capacity to laugh and smile with those he loves to know the best care-receiving, and without capacity to chew and swallow well so he eats through a tube what he must not gnash with his grinding teeth, and with midnight capacities for grande-mal seizures requiring 24-7 same-room monitoring. This is indeed a great deal of operatic drama not to choose to be born into as the oldest, raised by two gay dads, old enough to have been your grandfathers, one black, who seems afraid to be associated with our polycultural reputation and self-presentation, self-neglect, he might call us out, and me white, now apologizing for this mess with which I leave you as your birthright. Attached are instructions from your sister's Behaviorist. I suggest you adapt them, first to take better care of yourself, then her, then your two brothers, as best you can, ecotherapeutic care-giving is also egotherapeutic care-receiving. When another life reaches out to strike you down, to damage your property and/or body, and mind, to touch you inappropriately and without asking permission first, before grabbing and damaging your thoughts and feelings: First, remind your care-receiver, as yourself, to ask permission to become a care-giver to you and/or your property, because your life does matter equally with each other's; not more, but not less either. Second, teach your assailant across permitted boundaries to violence and theft and behavioral restraints, including use of civil voice, to advocate for this assailant's healthcare-receiving wants and needs in an appropriate mutual healthcare-giving way, non-violently and more domestically diplomatic, following universal multicultural standards for WinWin Solidarity of All Lives Equally Matter, Golden Rules applied to people, plants, places, and things, especially technological co-investments in Earth's 7-Generation Future of healthcare information systems and their cooperative access to growing Wealth Without Walls. Finally, mentor your siblings with healthcare-giving greetings, invitations, listenings before speaking, speaking back what care-receiving comes through your All Lives Equally Matter channels and challenges about not choosing to be left with these care receiving and giving familial opportunities to regenerate climates of health and avoid landscapes of further behavioral pathology. With apologies for my Elder role in your current ADHD challenged ecopolitical and psychological karma, but, you know, as a gay white-trash farmboy who developed a thing for urban black strong men in the 1960s and 70s when my life wasn't even legal, much less of any socially therapeutic value, I didn't think past my own parenting needs to give life more therapeutically back than I had not-so-well received life in my ecopolitical time on Earth. If you do your best self care-receiving, you will each day and night relearn to teach yourself as others asking and giving permission to respectfully approach to advocate for universal care giving as receiving, beginning with your mentoring history of gratitude for Earth's abundant grace to place and pace you here and now without having even to ask to be born into this space and time of responsibilities for care-receiving and concomitant authorities of care-giving ego/eco bilaterally cooperative WinWin healthcare systemic network building, 4D RealTime unfolding and reweaving instructions from and for the Oldest.