Parted Memories

It wasn't so long ago, that my new wife and I had to find a place to live which we could call "Home". We found an ideal place on the northwest side of our city, easy transportation, good neighbors, and plenty of room. When we decided to take the place, we knew it would be the bright, airy, comfortable, and loving home we wanted to make for ourselves. Of course, there was work to be done before we could move in. Painting, carpets, and choice of furniture would occupy us for many weeks. I don't know if every newlywed couple is as happy as we were. Our love was enhanced by the work on that apartment, turning its rooms from bare walls and floors into livable spaces where we could be alone with each other. We would even have friends or relatives over - it made no difference in our relationship...it was home. Every relationship has its share of woes, and that apartment became a solitary point in our lives. My idea of a career did not jive with my wife's, as she so often pointed out. I don't believe it was the career, but the fact that I was trying to be someone I wasn't, work with a company that I did not really know, and do something that was inherently destructive to our marriage. I wanted to prove to her that she could be proud of me by providing for her the riches I felt she deserved. My quest for the golden ring only tarnished the ones we wore on our hands. I was just too naive to think that I was wrong. I should have taken a step back and trusted the partner to whom I had pledged my love. By the time I came to my senses, it was too late. I had driven her away by my callousness. Now, as I stand in this empty apartment, only the memories remain. The laughter of that first dinner alone...her face in the candlelight, yet I see it only in the darkened corner of the room. There were the nights of love and affection in the bedroom...now only shadows of the sweet passions left in the wake of her despair at my leaving her alone to face the mornings. Our living area was our pride and joy with the furniture we had so carefully chosen, the carpet of jade green, and the love seat where we watched our favorite programs...now, just a window to the soul mate I should have been. The apartment stands empty again, waiting for another young couple to make it their own. It was ours for a while, but now belongs only to that place in my mind where I hide my personal treasures. I loved her then...I love her still. Home no longer, but in my memory.