Parody of a Famous Poem

My mistress' eyes are nothing like a 40 Watt full spectrum LED bulb; Doritos are far more red than her lips' red; If Teslas be white, why then her organs for nourishing babies are dun; If hairs be USB cables, USB cables grow on her head. I have seen Monsanto patents damasked, red and white, But no such intellectual property see I in her cheeks; And in some volatile aerosols is there more delight Than in the exhalation that from my mistress is unmentionably unpleasant. I love to hear her powerful voice, yet well I know That WAP hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go (except when I became too old for parental controls) My mistress, when she stalks, kneads the earth like a cat. And yet, by Hubble’s image of The Pillars of Creation, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. Contest: Parody of a famous poem Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins Dec 21 2020