Parent's Regrets
Sometimes I sit and wonder why
no ones allowed to turn back time?
No quarter given to right their wrongs,
forgiveness for the things they've done;
Worked too hard, grew up too fast,
and all that gave me was a past;
no credit given for deeds I've done;
critically examined by everyone;
Forever judged by one mistake,
It's not the only one I made;
I tried and failed to make them see,
the judged mistake was so tiny;
If they could see inside my mind,
they'd be afraid of what they'd find;
What lurks beneath cloaked in disguise,
trapped inside by watchful eyes;
No matter how deep the grudge,
I am myself my own worst judge;
For we all hide within ourselves,
cloaked in shadow the sins we weld;
But when our time is finally near,
we realize our own worst fear.
my mind alone is where I'll be,
so dark and lonely no one can see;
It's my mind alone I have to fear;
my sins enlarged beyond compare;
You find yourself like all the rest,
failing to credit good deeds past;
Trapped inside your minds own eye,
you watch as you begin to die.
Forgetting right, remembering wrong,
I focus now on those I've harmed;
I want a chance to take it back,
and give you the life you should have had;
I am sorry I was not there,
selfish me how much I cared;
You both grew just grew up too fast,
before I knew it my life was past;
Now I sit all alone,
wondering where my life has gone;
Was I so selfish? my sins so great?
My soul cries out my heart still shakes;
Will you forgive my being late,
or the times I could not wait?;
So my precious little one;
now I am the vulnerable one;
At your mercy I beg you please;
just one more day is all I need;
I want a chance to make it right,
not just your day but entire life;
I'd take it back if I could,
and finish what was left undone;
Cloak of guilt hard to shed;
accountable to all who cared;
Sword of judgment in our hands;
if we fail to make amends;
So please let me turn back the time
and be at peace in my own mind.
Copyright © Sheila Van Zant | Year Posted 2017
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