Paraprosdokians

* A Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is a surprise or unexpected. (I didn’t make these up. I tried to make them rhyme for your enjoyment. Sorry if it didn’t work!). Here goes — You don’t need a parachute to skydive, which is really very nice! But, there again, you do need one, if you plan to do it twice! Always borrow money from a pessimist. That’s a well known fact! Cause if you borrow from a pessimist, he won’t expect it back! If I agreed with you, it sure wouldn’t take too long, for everyone to realize, that both of us were wrong! I’ve had problems all my life, but, have been able to endure! Once I was indecisive, but, now I’m not so sure! If you think I’ve enjoyed your company, I really must admit, I’ve had a wonderful evening! Unfortunately, this wasn’t it! Behind every great man there’s a woman! Which is really no surprise. Behind every great man there’s a woman! Standing there, rolling her eyes! Going to church don’t make you a Christian, no matter who you are! Just like standing in a garage, isn’t gonna make you a car! Last thing I want to do is hurt you, that, I must insist! Although, at this point in time, it still is on my list! Let me die peacefully in my sleep, like Grandpa, is my greatest hope by far! Not screaming, yelling, and crying, like the passengers in his car! I didn’t say it was your fault! That I would never do! All that I was saying is, that I was blaming you! For President, Americans choose from two. Which is really kinda thrifty! On the other hand, for Miss America, they get to choose from fifty! Knowledge - knowing a tomato’s a fruit! A fact that’s very valid. Wisdom - knowing you should never, put the tomato in a fruit salad!